Shopping With The O.G.

Yo, O.G. Roscoe Edward

AKA The Duration

Dropping some rhymes on the nation

From self-isolation

Clumsy awkward clueless cultural

mis-approximation

Like boinking myself with nunchucks

Just to remember what it feels like to be touched

I do hope you and yours are well

Me I do half my food shopping at the Bartell’s

So my life hasn’t changed much

Eating chili straight from the can

Sticking half of it back in the fridge with Saran wrap

That’ll be a nice surprise find after this next nap

Stand it in the sink with the spoon to leave soak

I’m stacking dishes on the floor and books on the stove

What’s the diff, nobody’s coming over

Orders from the gov’ner

Says go home and stay there

I’m a pig in a stye

Might be lettin’ a few things slide

I can’t get anything done I got too much time

I’m just staring into space cause can’t quite decide

Between microwave fish sticks, a chicken pot pie

Or a good cry, now I know why

Having no shame means the same as having no pride

But I’m suspicious, I’m not gonna lie

I’m just thinkin’ there’s just gotta be a downside

But I’m no worrier waitin’ for that other Croc to drop

I’m a warrior just for soldiering on as normally as possible

I’m not just some sad lonely middle aged man sleeping with a pile of old clothes on his bed

I’m a vital heroic broken link in the dangerous chain of community spread

I just wish I had some food that wasn’t dead

Snuck past the muscle at the door at the Trader Joe’s for that early morning Oldsters’ Hour

I was looking for flour

I was looking for it in the form of bread

Yeah good luck with that

It was brutal, man

Some lady hoarding the last three cans of lentils when I’d just limited myself to two

Lacking the Wisdom of Solomon much less a hack saw I just let it goo

We’re all of us on the front lines now I am no here-oo

Sometimes you know what you’re made of until you are called upon

She did have three big bags of frozen peas though and I had just the one

That math was a little easier, though I did have the decency to wait

Till she was a good six feet from her cart, and maybe looking the other way

Then I felt bad, I was embarrassed yeah I knew it was lame-ass,

Stealing food on the sly from an old lady from some stupid animal fear of hunger

So I went and gave it back and stole some more from somebody younger

Some little self-appointed social distance warrior saw the whole thing

Swung a Hello Kitty bag at me

Not very sociable, I wouldn’t call that distancing

Credit where credit is due though, clocked me dead epicenter

Couldn’t have been more than 10, so you know, respect

Buy some cookies when I see her next

But don’t worry about me

I’m resting comfortably

Bit of a bruise and some mild swelling

Got some nice big bags of frozen peas

And lentils—I’m thinking it might be a kind of bean

It’s the kinda things our great-grandparents knew

Like did know you can get tomatoes pre-diced in the can, it’s true

I know a store that has ‘em—dm me

I mean they don’t have any now, but, for later maybe

Well that’d be more enough for now from me

Signing off social-distancingly

Get out and grab up some of that good vitamin D

And keep an eye out for the O.G.

I’ll wave from across the street

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