Shopping With The O.G.
Yo, O.G. Roscoe Edward
AKA The Duration
Dropping some rhymes on the nation
From self-isolation
Clumsy awkward clueless cultural
mis-approximation
Like boinking myself with nunchucks
Just to remember what it feels like to be touched
I do hope you and yours are well
Me I do half my food shopping at the Bartell’s
So my life hasn’t changed much
Eating chili straight from the can
Sticking half of it back in the fridge with Saran wrap
That’ll be a nice surprise find after this next nap
Stand it in the sink with the spoon to leave soak
I’m stacking dishes on the floor and books on the stove
What’s the diff, nobody’s coming over
Orders from the gov’ner
Says go home and stay there
I’m a pig in a stye
Might be lettin’ a few things slide
I can’t get anything done I got too much time
I’m just staring into space cause can’t quite decide
Between microwave fish sticks, a chicken pot pie
Or a good cry, now I know why
Having no shame means the same as having no pride
But I’m suspicious, I’m not gonna lie
I’m just thinkin’ there’s just gotta be a downside
But I’m no worrier waitin’ for that other Croc to drop
I’m a warrior just for soldiering on as normally as possible
I’m not just some sad lonely middle aged man sleeping with a pile of old clothes on his bed
I’m a vital heroic broken link in the dangerous chain of community spread
I just wish I had some food that wasn’t dead
Snuck past the muscle at the door at the Trader Joe’s for that early morning Oldsters’ Hour
I was looking for flour
I was looking for it in the form of bread
Yeah good luck with that
It was brutal, man
Some lady hoarding the last three cans of lentils when I’d just limited myself to two
Lacking the Wisdom of Solomon much less a hack saw I just let it goo
We’re all of us on the front lines now I am no here-oo
Sometimes you know what you’re made of until you are called upon
She did have three big bags of frozen peas though and I had just the one
That math was a little easier, though I did have the decency to wait
Till she was a good six feet from her cart, and maybe looking the other way
Then I felt bad, I was embarrassed yeah I knew it was lame-ass,
Stealing food on the sly from an old lady from some stupid animal fear of hunger
So I went and gave it back and stole some more from somebody younger
Some little self-appointed social distance warrior saw the whole thing
Swung a Hello Kitty bag at me
Not very sociable, I wouldn’t call that distancing
Credit where credit is due though, clocked me dead epicenter
Couldn’t have been more than 10, so you know, respect
Buy some cookies when I see her next
But don’t worry about me
I’m resting comfortably
Bit of a bruise and some mild swelling
Got some nice big bags of frozen peas
And lentils—I’m thinking it might be a kind of bean
It’s the kinda things our great-grandparents knew
Like did know you can get tomatoes pre-diced in the can, it’s true
I know a store that has ‘em—dm me
I mean they don’t have any now, but, for later maybe
Well that’d be more enough for now from me
Signing off social-distancingly
Get out and grab up some of that good vitamin D
And keep an eye out for the O.G.
I’ll wave from across the street